Wow, it’s been a while since i last posted on this blog. Okay, a very long while. I guess I didn’t do it earlier cause I just didn’t feel like it. There’s so much stuff going around my head that I don’t even know what I’m thinking about, and most of the time, I don’t even want to.
These days, thinking is one of the things that I’m trying to avoid. Not that it’s working, because really, all of this is making my head hurt. Am I making any sense? I don’t think so. But thinking back, I never did make any sense, so I guess it’s alright.
Funny how not having anyone to talk to gives me the urge to post all of my so called problems and insecurities on the internet. I mean, most of the things that I think about are really privet, and I don’t really understand why all of this is flowing in this electronic paper. I tried talking to someone else, I really did, but it seems to me that I just can’t open up. I guess it’s because if I do, I’ll realize just how small and insignificant all of this is, how small and insignificant I am, really. Blame it on the hormones, I’m a teenager and I love the drama. Kind of.
The point is, am I that hypocrite to refuse to open up to one of my “friends”, and then go and spill it all out for everyone to see? I guess so. I never realized that maybe that’s all I’ve ever needed, a place to go and say everything I have to say, without addressing it to anyone in particular, and still, be heard. For those who want any way.
So yeah, maybe this is my diary, after all. A very distorted version of a diary, at least.